Saying “Thanks”

Before there were drive-throughs, there were drive-ins. I remember a day at a drive-in, although it’s been over four decades ago. It’s not the food I remember. It’s the carhop. At least what she said. She said, “Thanks.” Midway home from family vacation somewhere in desert-y Utah, Dad pulled our boat-size Buick into a bay of a drive-in hamburger joint (as we would have called it). Dad, Mom, and we three kids in the back seat, perused the pictures and prices on our bay’s marquee and then ordered with the attached, cb-looking and sounding intercom. Soon, the carhop brought—on one of those drive-in trays—our burgers and fries. After passing them through the windows, making sure the driver’s window was sufficiently raised to accommodate its hooks, she attached the plastic tray to it. It contained the napkins and other condiments and would be the repository of our trash when we were finished eating. Then, holding the ticket she announced the total. Dad handed her the cash. She returned the change, and then she said it. She said, “Thanks.” That’s it. But, it wasn’t what she said, it was how she said it. It would be hard to emulate audibly how she said it; and, it is even more difficult to put it into print, but let me try. First, she said it with a local accent far more twange-ish than even our own provincial, Okie dialect. Then, there was her volume. When inside, she definitely didn’t need to use the intercom to answer any call from any bay on the premises. There was also the way she made the one syllable of “thanks” sound like two. Put all that together with how she accented the second syllable of the one syllable word with a crescendo and imagine it: “ThaaaAYNKSSS.” The “s” kind of just lingered long afterwards in the air, slowly fading until it mingled with the background music. As she walked away, we just sat in a stunned silence, not chewing or anything. Then in unison we began to laugh explosively. It wasn’t long until one after the other we each attempted to parrot the carhop’s “ThaaaaANKS.” We weren’t cruelly making fun of her. It was just so unique. It was just so comical. All the way home and for long after that, periodically one of the family would say “Thanks” in that mimicked manner, and all would crackup. The impression the carhop made on us was not in her saying “thanks” but in how she said it. Her accent and annunciation made the difference. “Thanks” is something we are accustomed to saying, especially if we were raised with any manners, especially, if raised in the South. Yet, if honest, we realize that “thanks” can quickly degrade into just a conventionally expected response, an obligatory reply. When anything is done or said in our behalf, decency and community makes it incumbent to say “thanks” in return. Approaching this Thanksgiving, I kept thinking of that carhop from long ago and how the way she said “thanks” made such an impression on us. Her thanks carried impact when she spoke it. Trained to do so, most of us can and do say “thanks” reflexively; it is but a “muscle-memory” reaction. Often, we realize this, and seek to add more meaning to our thanks by adding adverbials: “Thanks so much.” “Thanks a lot.” “Thanks a million.” “Thanks a bunch.” Those work. Sometimes. Somewhat. But, soon even “thanks” with modifiers becomes cliché, trite. So, this Thanksgiving how can we say thanks in such a way that it actually conveys and carries something with it to whom we address it? My answer reeks with oversimplification, but here it is: Say thanks with conscious gratitude. How can we do that? Review the good done us. Remember that the one who did the good to us could have chosen not to. Realize that whatever good has been done us it was not an entitlement; we were underserving of it. Reflect on how the good done to us many others have never known. This kind of assessment renders us humbly grateful. Then, when we say thanks, we cannot help but say it with gratitude. When our thanks with gratitude is then heard, it will be as affecting as our carhop’s was—only it will be no laughing matter. Try the above with people. Try it with God. Say “Thanks” with conscious gratitude. It’s not saying thanks that is poignant; it’s how we say it.

Saying “Thanks”

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